Running

I finally did it, i put on my running shoes and went out for a run. The streets are covered with leaves, but I persevered. I think I ran for about 40 minutes, well actually ran/walk. My heart rate was up for sure. I stopped back by M's house for a drink of water then kept going. On my journey I saw several walks of shame, people out with their children, couples drinking coffee on their porches and the condom I almost stepped on. Plus remnants of last night- pieces of Halloween costumes that were abandoned by partiers, candy wrappers, empty beer cans and of course many jack o'laterns decaying on steps. 

The fresh air is rejuvenating. The air is crisp. More importantly it is quiet. I sometimes forget that I don't like the city. I'm like those yin yang cookies, half of me is white chocolate and half is dark chocolate. Part of me loves the city, the urban lifestyle- the restaurants, the happy hours and the constant flow of people. Yet the other half thrives on trees, smaller communities, being by the water and a less complicated way of life. Then there's the part that wants the bigger change. Austin is still very much so on the brain. I have quite a bit on my plate right now, I'm working longer hours, I still want to be in better shape physically and I am in the process of making home home. I hit a low this past month. I was hiding from myself and others. I found myself trying to find comfort in food- eating badly and still feeling empty. I neglected the gym, made excuses why I couldn't go- I was still slightly sick, I had to do stuff at home (which I never really never ended up doing) and I wouldn't pack my stuff. A friend put a challenge on- we both set goals and I'm trying to get back on track. I need to motivate myself. Remind myself how good I feel when I eat better, workout and keep a well rounded life. I tried this dating website, not entirely happy with the experience, then like so many other things in my life abandoned it when bored.  I see a pattern, but not quite sure how to overcome it in my life- counseling? Drugs? More journaling/writing? All of the above?