Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Fitness - I Put in 5 Miles at the Office -

I'd actually love to have this at the office, not for just weight loss but to maintain a more active less sedentary lifestyle. What happens if you trip? The end of wearing oh so uncomfortable high heels?

Fitness - I Put in 5 Miles at the Office -

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Emotionally Drained

I was so excited for the gym tonight. The sun was shinning but I was heading inside to run on the treadmill, still feeling the adrenaline rush from Monday's workout, ready for the challenge of running just a little bit more. I was talking to my dad updating him on recent work events (more to come on that). 30 Minutes later I went to turn on the ignition, nothing, my car wouldn't start. I thought maybe I had pulled a blond, was the car in park, yes, no, it really should start. FUCK. After several phone calls with M, including finding out that my mom had neglected to pay the AAA bill which lapsed in July, I had them coming. i called my mom and screamed and swore, how could she forget to pay the most crucial bill, its meant for emergencies, this isn't the first time there have been problems, lapsed bills that could potentially lead to serious issues. Miraculously my car started 30 minutes later, thank you to S (both of you!) and M for being there. I talked to Sherrie for awhile. She said you know we are your family, those who are there for you in emergencies, its us and Michael, not your mom. I know that, its proved time and time again.

Tonight I tried calling her around 8:30pm, busy. Finally around 9:15pm I get a phone call from her, she says I assume you got home fine. I say yes, explain that I got my car started. Then she quickly moves onto another topic, the random neighbor who I've met twice has cancer and other frivolous topics. I think to myself, my friends called, checked to make sure everything was ok, you call two hours later and had been on the phone all night, what if there was a major problem, it shows your lack of caring. I become more and more emotionally detached, I don't call my mom for support. Even when I want support, its lacking. This was the final straw, I'm done. It's time that I take control whether its wanted or not, clearly she's incapable of handling her own finances. I've also officially detached myself. I'm done. It hurts more than anything in the world, but I have to. It hurts too much to want more, to in the back of my head secretly hope that she'll say I love you, give me a hug when I see her or ask me a question about something in my life.

On a good note, the unknown at work finally came through Friday. I have a HUGE career change coming with multiple benefits. I (hopefully) will finally be challenged at work. It's a step forward not a step backwards plus a generous raise which is so badly needed. Contract still yet to be signed, not officially anounced in the work place so I have to be somewhat vague (sorry A!). I cannot wait for weeks to come and for the change to happen, I feel a difference even in myself and my approach to my work, I'm not dreading the day, the tasks rather I know that I'm noticed and recognized, my attention to detail, follow through and professional has been noticed by the once that matters, that means the world to me.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Scrumptious Seattle is LIVE

My new food blog is finally being officially announced aka gone LIVE. Please check it out, comment etc. It's my goal to make this something BIG. I'm working on it as I go, so feedback would be great. My alter ego voracious girl is excited and cannot wait to do more blogging about my favorite places.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Framing My Life

I'm making Motel 6 home. Yesterday I decided to go through pics, pic out some special ones from trips, friends visiting from out of town and fun events. I found as I was going through my albums on iphoto how much my life has changed over the years. Random pics with the party friends from college who I don't talk to now, good memories, but not my life. Lots of pics of M and I, in our old QA place- when we got the cats, random moments, road trips etc and then my "new" life here in Seattle. I carefully picked ones that meant something, people who bring meaning to my life. The professional ones from J's wedding turned out beautiful, I had three black and whites printed, one of J & I, one of M, R, J and I and then one of M & I, I actually already had a black and white frame, so now they are hanging in my living room, looking stunning. I replaced the random shoe and starbucks girl that J gave M & I for xmas with one of N & I in her bathroom getting ready for K's B-day and one from the wine tasting at SLU Block party of Lisanna, Carla, Karianne and I. I have more I want to frame- ones from Walla Walla Wine Tasting, J's various visits, K's B-Day, the Butter House Girls, Florida, Sam's Wedding, and a few others. I'm excited to see them framed in my apartment. I may be single however I really have wonderful people who fill my life with love, support and happiness. I can't to see the pics from when Jess was here, I want some ones of the "new and improved" us. The people that make my life here in Seattle home are finally coming home in my life. It feels good.

This weekend has been full, but not "busy," in a bad way. Slowly the weekend has evolved, various events filling the days some by me, some by others. But it doesn't feel draining. I have good people in my life that don't exhaust me, bring me down or accept status quo; rather they challenge me, when they ask how are you doing they really mean it. I've been debating beach camping, finding excuses not to go, when I relayed them yesterday, others found solutions- oh you can sleep in our tent, we are leaving later too etc; showing they wanted me to go- now the ball is in my court, it's really my decision. Adding just enough me time has helped, but I still thrive very much so on interactions with others- make that positive interactions. I'm going to get started on my "famous" blueberry muffins, crank up some music- enjoy my leisurely morning before I head to S's for brunch.