Wednesday, March 3, 2010

cycle repeat

I'm sitting in my car under the carport, avoiding going home to the mess of my apartment, part of me thinks if I avoid long enough then I can just go have beers with chuck. Tears so badly wanting to come out. I've pretty much resolved that I'll be alone forever. It's me against the world. It's been a rough start to the year. I'm doubting so much in my life. And people. Ones you thought were there for you, not so much. High school stuff is back. I'm tired and done. The tiredness, it's killing me right now, wake up early, cats waking me up in the middle of the night, not really sleeping, repeat. I desperately need a break. From everything. Turn my brain off for just a moment. Turn everything off. There are moments I dream of another life, no Rh brown, no Seattle, no body issues, nothing. Peace and quiet