Sunday, August 23, 2009

Wasn't What I Was Looking For

They say you meet "someone" when you aren't looking necessarily, but what if it isn't a someone rather a new life. A few months ago I wrote about discontent, wanting change feeling a disconnect with the city. Something changed, honestly until recently I wasn't aware of this, instead it slowly developed. My seasonal affective problems of course are lessened with this absolutely beautiful summer filled with sunny days. Truthfully it wasn't the sun. I found passion in my life.

For the past two years my focus has been food, but not in a good way. I was depriving myself of something I loved. I focused on counting calories, food became the evil negative. If you asked me what my passions are, whole heartily I would answer first, food. Like Julia Child who when asked what she liked to do, she responded, "eat!" In May I joined Twitter again. Inspired by Karianne who connected to the social media/PR world, I decided to explore the food community. Little did I know how quickly this world would explode for me, finding others who shared the same zeal for all things food related. My days are filled with conversing with people who get excited about talking about pies (including the best leaf lard), where to find the best DimSum, the bounty of the season, foraging the farmers markets and eating out at restaurants. Food professionals, writers, bloggers and other enthusiasts like myself are constantly sharing stories, attending food related events (talking more about food!) and planning diners out together. Some are becoming true friends. I'm enamoured and most of all, content. I'm not looking externally for happiness. The creative side in me is being tapped again.

Not to say I still don't cherish my existing friends, although I see them less often, but I'm learning to realize that's OK. Managing my time is a bit harder. My community continues to build in Seattle and why would I want to leave this and start all over? I'm experiencing a new part of the city rather than observing from afar. As for dating, I am confident I fill find Mr. Right at the right time. No longer do I spend time online looking for that person, rather I want to find someone who experiences the world at large along with me. I appreciate those who have stood by me, challenged me and continue support me the past two years, allowing me to grow into who I am becoming. More and more I realize how different I am from the Lorraine who I used to know. I had to let some people in my life go, those who bring me down rather than up.

I look forward to what the future brings. If you asked me in October what I would be doing in a year, I probably wouldn't have predicted this. I went to a Halloween party for a reason, the palm reader was more right than I'll ever know. I kinda want to track him down and see what he has to say now.