When Good Things Come To An End

This morning I left with a hug and quick kiss goodbye. It marked the end of what for the past two months has been the ultimate of the undefined. He said I'll talk to you later, you have my number. I joked that I didn't. But really will we talk again? No more walk or rather drives home of shame. Something changed recently in me, what I want out of a relationship, my expectation level. It's hard to define, but before I wanted it all, yet I always settled for 25% of what I deserved. Maybe now that I am more comfortable in my own skin, I can realize that relationships take many forms, sometimes they may be brief but are here to teach us something. And sometimes when we aren't trying so hard, a good thing can come along where we least expect it.

S and I didn't have the deep epic personal talks. Yes, we talked about our lives, but it was surface level. Yet, we shared a connection, a certain level of intimacy. Last night he asked are you going home or spending night, I simply replied, I don't know. Then a few moments later he leaned over and kissed me.... and thus I knew I was spending the night. Unspoken, with a few comical moments, we shared a connection. It's the little things I appreciate about S, he automatically put my feet in between his legs because he knew they got cold in the middle of the night. We got each others sense of humor. I knew in my heart there was no possibility of long term potential from the beginning, maybe this allowed me to just have fun. Isn't that after all what dating is all about? I wonder if we get wrapped up too much in societal expectations and we lose sight of the dating process. You go on a couple of dates, start sleeping together and then BOOM we are expected to fall into this serious relationship, whatever happened to just seeing how it goes. In someways I liked the lack of expectations. And now, I know I can move on, no hurt feelings, wondering what went wrong, knowing that it was good, but now I have to see where the next adventure brings me. Summer is (almost) here and that leaves plenty of room for hot summer romances or flings. I'm getting out there, I have no doubt things will fall into place.

Regardless, I liked my Saturday "dates," they were hot and yes, the sex was good.