Relieved!

Sometimes when we least expect it, an obstacle is thrown directly in front of us. A few weeks ago a good friend found out she had a very large Ovarian Cyst, the doctors speculated that it was actually a tumor however they weren't very sure, however the bigger question we were asking, is it cancer. Yes, they were "pretty sure" it wasn't, but it was massive so it was hard to tell. This morning she had her 5-7lb mass removed and yes, it was free and clear of cancer. Yes, she'll have a long recovery period and possibly the worst part for her is yet to come, however I cannot express into words the relief I feel. The possibility of losing a friend to a disease was almost too much to comprehend. I haven't talked much about it except with M just because we've gone through this together as we learned about it on our vacation in Florida.

We go through life not really expecting something like this to happen, we take precautions to avoid death or harmful situations. But can we really control our destiny? The question of fate was brought up at my book club as we discussed The Three Cups of Tea about a climber's mission to build schools in rural Pakistan. Was he really taking risk? Was he brave or foolish? People often make the remark, oh I wouldn't do that it's too dangerious, yet we forget the fact that we have a higher likelihood of tripping or another common accident. And then there is disease, something we all pretend we know how to prevent- oh take Fish Oil it has Omega 3's, honestly we have no control, it could strike anyday just like a bolt of lightening, in an instant our whole world will change. Do we avoid something because we are too afraid and find excuses not to do it such as it is too dangerous because we think we can control our fate? What if we lived each day saying I am going to follow my passions, try something new and yes, live life a bit dangerously. Would in the end we die sooner or rather die having no regrets? You can't watch life happen around you.

This makes me wonder why J had to go through this right after her wedding, the possibility of never having kids or even worse........ At times like this many seek comfort and solace in a higher power, whatever they may define that power to be- God, Allah, Bhudda or Mother Earth. Myself, I don't have a definition of that power. Today I wasn't sure if I wanted to pray. I told S my super religious co-worker what was going on, I knew she would pray to her God, would that help, I don't know, but I would take anything at that moment. As M said earlier, I'll pray anyday to the cancer free god. For this tonight, I will open a bottle of wine and have a glass of wine thanking whatever, whoever was with J today. Oh and in honor of the Pope's birthday because I promised Al I would celebrate. Sadly work did not think it was worthy of closing.