You Had Me at "Hello"

My heart is fluttering and yes its because of a man. Not just any man. He's making history. He's ready to change the world and give us hope. I've never felt so inspired by a political candidate, I want him to be President, he makes me believe in a country where equality of all kinds is possible. It's fate that it is the 45th anniversary of another great person's dream. This man is part of a team, a team that is destined for greatness, I can feel it. Barack Obama, you gave me chills tonight, thank you for believing in our country, in making a difference.

A Bit of Peace

This past week was not good. I don't really want to blog about the events leading to the lovely lillies on my desk at work, however the re-set button was pushed big time. I've been writing quite a bit about the balance between me time and my "busy" life. Monday I was in no mood to do anything, I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's, my favorite comfort movie. I on purpose didn't schedule anything. I started to run at the gym but didn't feel good so I called K asked if she wanted to make dinner together, we did, it was nice- watched some family guy and relaxed. Wednesday I found myself having another night alone, not quite ready for the gym, I played some Wow, more me time. Thursday the sun came out, I was feeling good so S joined me for a fantastic walk to Golden Gardens, we had a great talk and I got some exercise in with a nightcap at Carla's. Then I found out the Sam was coming for a spur of the moment visit plus so was J, I was excited to see both of them. I knew I had some major cleaning to do but had volunteered to walk Fifa which was really lovely and then had some sushi with K who also helped me with cleaning.

This weekend even having my out of town guests has been relaxing. We've walked a TON, including a long walk at Alki in the lovely summer heat and to Ballard and back several times. Today was really the perfect day. I slept in, much needed! Then walked to the farmers market, had some coffee from Verite, bought produce then did some errands together, picked blackberries for crisp and made dinner. I really enjoyed making dinner tonight with Sam, I've missed cooking, sharing making food together, talking while preparing food etc. It was super easy and healthy. I'm beginning to wonder if I really do like living alone? Do I need to bring more people into my home more often? I cherish my alone time, my secret single behaviors and having my own space. However, I miss sharing certain things with other people in my home. Home feels like home with them here, having dinner, now relaxing, doing our own things- reading, playing computer games etc. I know my own internal issues are mine to process myself however I need to bring people in more into my world rather than keep my home and social life separate. Finding balance is key. Working out (I also do miss my walks!), being social, my own personal activities (wow, reading, cooking/baking) all are crucial to keeping myself in check, neither extreme is all that good. Right now I feel peaceful, for once it feels good and right having some solace.

Working in Strides

This week was focused on bringing the gym back, it's not quite as much about bringing sexy back, although I do still check the calories burned and for sure want those 10lbs gone. It's about bringing me back. I want to run, feel healthy again and have that time to just be. I made it to the gym 4x this week, I bonded with the treadmill. I took Friday off for block party, today I need to head there in a bit since our hike was canceled and I'm bringing my work out stuff to Bellingham so I can go for a jog with M. I feel more focused, centered and in balance. I'm paying more attention to what I eat, not just this looks good so I'll eat it rather watching my calorie intake and eating more fruits/veggies. I've talked to a couple of seasoned runners about doing some runs, T gave me some good advice about the treadmill. Running is going to be MY thing. I'm at a different place than I was a year ago, my body is healthier, fit, I have to re-align my goals. My attitude needs adjusting too, N sent a great article about keeping it positive, its just as important as the actual work out. So true. I'm on the cusp of change and I like it!

What Makes Me Tick

I keep talking about a shake up- there's something missing, yeah the job/work situation could be better, a significant other/more active dating life and home isn't quite right. The idea of Austin still resides in the back of my head. Moving abroad to Europe- possibly.

Some individuals- M & K especially don't think I should leave Seattle, thats not the solution. My life here is busy, I'm actually too busy- barely enough time to take care of the necessities. So what makes me tick? I'm not quite sure. Maybe thats the problem, not knowing my purpose.

This weekend was spent mostly with the "old" friends- J & M with a bit of seeing K & N, the new friends and randomly running into S twice in 24 hours! Both J & M have made big changes in their lives (Bham/school for M & MN/marriage for J) but we manage to continue to be "good" friends, I know both of them really well, trust them, care about them, in some ways they are my family. I brought laundry to J's mom's house & we had "family" dinner; M and I, well its complicated, but we easily fall into a routine together, It's comfortable. In someways they make me tick, my life depends on others to make me happy, which isn't how it should be.

"Community" it was the buzz word in college, we still laugh about that word, however I do have one here. Seeing S around town was evidence of my newly formed Seattle community. M said he never had that here, I for sure didn't for a long time. Community does make me tick- my activities reflect my interests. However my soul isn't here. I'm not really sure where my soul resides. I fill up my calendar- each weekend is full literally: next block party/hiking/Bellingham, the following weekend teamworks, then Victoria/camping with M, then labor day weekend Jess/Bumbershoot?, beach camping and then Austin in September! Weeks fill up easily with different social events. Gym and dieting have taken a backseat in my life, however I seemed to be happier when I went to the gym on a regular basis- body image continues to be a struggle- I'm trying to overcome it, but its a long uphill battle.

I'm trying to face fears/obstacles- but its a battle, my anxiety for sure gets in the way, the belief in my head that I can't do it, the large brick blocking my progress. There are things I want to try- biking (haven't been on a bike in over 10 years), running (still haven't made it for a full run yet), photography (need a new camera), learn to drive a stick (the 1st time was a bit rocky), blogging (need more time to figure it out), learn indesign/photoshop (i feel lost)... the excuses are plentiful.

How do I move forward with progress in my life? When will I reach that happy medium?

Findings - 10 Things to Scratch From Your Worry List - NYTimes.com

All the things that a typical Seattlelite worries about? Are we just crazy? Wait plastici bags aren't bad for the environment, then why did our City Council vote 6-1 to ban them?

Findings - 10 Things to Scratch From Your Worry List - NYTimes.com

Seattle Tourist

These past three days I was a tourist in my own city. Recently both N and S wrote about being a tourist in Seattle- what would you suggest to someone coming to explore the city. My friend had lived in Tacoma, so she was somewhat familiar to Seattle, her friend had never been here before and the other visiting from Phoenix had been here a handful of times.

We started off Thursday with a concert at Chateau St. Michelle winery- this winery on its own is beautiful- but adding Chris Isaak, brilliant. I had prepared a picnic of mostly local ingredients- salumi sausages, local cheeses (Mount Townsend, Beachers and a new one at MetMarket), fresh local berries, salmon mouse, crab dip, lavender shortbread and bread from Essential Baking company. Another girl who joined us brought salmon freshly smoked by her father. Unfortunately we drank all 4 bottles of wine then to find out that they had stopped selling wine. After the concert we had passed a dive bar- of course we made a spot- I ordered cans of Rainier for everyone- its the local version of BudLight fresh from the mountain.

Friday we headed to Snoqualamie Falls- yes its a tourist attraction- highlighted by my poor friend throwing up in front of the tourist bus! But it is an incredible view and a way to see nature at its finest. Returning to Ballard we ate lunch at Ray's Cafe- good food and amazing view. Afterwards wandered around the locks- boating and salmon- quinessential Seattle. Then a trip up to Queen Anne- Kerry Park, my favorite spot in the city for reflecting. We were blessed with clear sunny skies to highlight the skyline. Friday night we did Belltown and Pike Place. Started at Cascadia for miniburgers and the Alpine Martini (whats more Northwest than a little douglas fir in your drink!), then onto Flying Fish for a spur of the moment stop for fresh oysters (my first time actually), which turned into crab, calamari, salad and oysters. Finally time for our "dinner" reservation at Matts in the Market. Matt's is not a tourist spot, rather still seems to be the local gem that hasn't been invaded by the masses. Our table was still being used so we were treated to some free wine. A fabulous meal (everyones favorite so far) with a view of the market and the sound that was spectacular. Karen came from the dessert it was that good. I was contemplating a trip to the Lusty Lady, but per our server's advice we checked out the CanCan club below for a burlesque show- perfect. Men, women and some cross-dressers decked out flaunting their stuff, we didn't even need to go to Capital Hill for a bit of the "other" side of Seattle tourists miss.

Saturday we started off with pastries from Cafe Besalu near my house- another hidden gem that most tourists would not know about. Then onto the ultimate tourist activity- the Duck Tour. The brownies I consumed before made it a bit more enjoyable, but I have to say even as a local I had a blast- learned a few facts I did not know. It's a great overall tour of the basic neighborhoods in the downtown area. Plus even the local saw the Sleepless in Seattle houseboat for the 1st time. Afterwards lunch at Aqua Verde- we had planned to kayak but it was a bit chilly. Then onto the Central District for a stop at a friends house- real live gentrification in action in Seattle! Back to Ballard for the Sea Star (H was obsessed with Dangerous Catch!). Dinner in lower QA Phucket- sometime simple and cheap then onto the Torchlight prarade for a bit (H had to see the guy from deadliest catch!- we even chased after him) and then onto the Space Needle for a glass of wine. Being at the Space Needle I remembered why I love this city- its the ultimate tourist experience, however myself I could see all the spots that mean something to me- my gym, Noelle's work/South Lake Union, QA, Alki and the incredible beauty that makes Seattle home. We did a LOT in two days, however there was still more I wanted to show them- we didn't ride the SLUT (tried to buy t-shirts but they were closed), would of been fun to go out in Capitol Hill, the Seattle Art Museum or even better an outside art tour with local galleries and graffiti art, a walk around Greenlake, Skillet, Bainbridge and the 5 Spot (we were supposed to do breakfast but were a bit full from the 3-restaurant dinner the night before).

Yes, Seattle isn't a New York, Chicago or like a European city. People still are too dependent on cars. I observed Friday night that downtown was really dead (maybe everyone was in Capitol Hill), people don't walk nor use transportation (we did a quick jaunt on the #2), but we are changing, making our city more Urban. We are young, but Seattle is a vibrant thriving Seattle with quite a bit to offer.

Blogger

I know many of you who read this blog are bloggers. I consider myself an amateur blogger- no pictures, special links to websites in my entries, rather simple entries sometimes stream of consciousness. I love blogging, I find it relaxing but I find excuses for not expanding my blog capabilities. I'd like to start a food blog- oh wait I already did, scrumptiousseattle, yet it remains untouched. I eat something and think, god I wish I had an iphone (on a side note I saw a Starbuckian waiting in line at Skillet with a 3G, seriously wanted to go ask if I could see it/touch it) or a better camera. Today I ate my Skillet lunch- israeli couscous with mint, feta, raisins, pistachios, lemons and squash with the tarragon chicken salad... would of been perfect to post, but alas no camera. I want a fantastic header- need to use photo-shop to make it. Excuses.

Why didn't I go for a run yesterday- no good reason, just an excuse. My car isn't clean- why? I am lazy and hate doing it, its the honest answer. In preparation for my out of town guests I have been cleaning like crazy, each time I get out of the car I bring something in or throw it away. Last night when I got undressed instead of draping my dress over the hamper, I hung it up in the closet. I am trying to build little habits that will prevent the clutter that seems to dominate my life.

I find myself constantly checking blogs, I am almost infatuated with the various blogs out there. My friends write intelligent witty and of course poignant essays on various life events with sometimes a bit of honesty that isn't in every day conversation. I keep up on my google reader checking MyBallard, Seattlest and other various local blogs for news and events. I am saddened to report my lack of interacting with a real news paper in my life. Last weekend while volunteering at Beacon Hill Elementary we were lining some areas with wet newspaper, as we were plunging the newspaper in the water, I found myself enthralled with reading the articles, so many interesting articles, things I wanted to read. Yet, like so many things in my life, if I actually took the time to subscribe, the papers would pile up in my apartment with articles I intended to read. How do we find the balance between our technologically enriched world and a bit of reality- the tangible things in life. How do we find that balance? Instead of wasting over an hour on facebook when I "have no time" why didn't I call my dad back, go for a run or clean the bathroom. I posed the question last night to N & K about spending time alone and how we have several friends who seem to balance home time, internet time and social activities much better- they do domestic things (cook, craft projects etc) as well as read, write real letters to friends and still keep a very technologically savy lifestyle. I find as I explore what makes me tick, I am missing balance in my life. When I told M about my day alone, he replied good, I want to hear more things like that. Those of you who make goals happen, you inspire me- Noelle for your carfree month, Jess for your dedication to working out/eating healthy, Karianne- finding the new career headfirst, Michael-completing your first year of Western with almost a perfect gpa and Susanna- doing all that you do- dating, traveling- being happy with you.